(drew dellinger)

17 novembre 2008

(BY JESSICA CARE MOORE)

THIS LETTER IS NOT FOR EVERY WOMAN. BUT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU!

DEAR JESS

After a decade of marriage and a nearly yearlong relationship with a beautiful friend, I have to write myself this letter as a promise. I hope it’s a promise that other women like me will make to themselves.

When u have been forced…

To spend your life fighting against the often aggressive sexual exploitation of women through institutions, laws, the workforce, your own family, school and just basic can’t walk down the street without being harassed your whole life….

When u are a woman of color, and you have survived being stereotyped as every “round the way girl” at a bus stop, every video stripper in every rappers video.

If you have decided, despite your family not coming from a line of doctors, lawyers or educators, to take your own life, your story, your fucking destiny into your own hands.

I am asking. No, I am daring you to be courageous enough.

To be fearless and confident enough….

When u have found a way to build an independent economic empire of your own..

When u told your nine to five to kiss your ass, and told your family to deal with it.

The moment after you decide to no longer be a slave.

When you decide to not believe that the only thing you have to look forward to in life is making babies, and being a wife.

When u find a way to delicately balance babies, be a wife and still find time for a long bath at least one night per week.

When u have vowed to raise daughters as warriors.

And grown out your perm, or read more books then what would ever be required in school.

When u decide to write your OWN relevant story and not wait for validation from a culture outside of your own.

From no one!

When u survive on paint, and words, education, and activism, and love and poetry and theater, sewing needles, fabric, real films, and dance and music not always played on the radio.

When u decide, despite the guns at your head.

To outlive your circumstance…

And breathe down the throats of those

who say you don’t matter.

When u have done all this.

And a MAN or a WOMAN that you LOVE tells you that

They feel INADEQUATE. INSECURE. NOT QUITE ENOUGH.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

AROUND YOU. OR YOU MAKE THEM FEEL LESS THAN WHAT THEY ARE.

THEY FEEL IMASCULATED.

BECAUSE YOU ARE SO TOGETHER, SO STRONG, SO PERFECT TO

BRING AROUND THEIR MOMMAS.

I AM TELLING YOU TO NEVER SAY

“NO YOU’RE NOT BABY.” “YOU HAVE LOTS OF POTENTIAL”

OR MAKE EXCUSES BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID OF BEING ALONE, OR “WHO’S GONNA WANT TO MARRY ME WITH THREE KIDS”

OR DECIDE YOU BETTER TONE DONE YOUR MOUTH SO HE WON’T BE SCARED OF YOU.

WHEN PEOPLE PAY YOU TO TALK!

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY BECOME A COLDER SACK CLONE TO FIT IT WITH THE REST OF THE

WOMEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WHEN YOU HAVE HAD TO PAY TO GET YOUR LAST NAME BACK AT LEAST ONCE ALREADY WHEN YOU WEREN’T THE ONE CHEATING!

NEVER SAY, TO THIS MAGICAL, DREAMY PERSON THAT YOU LOVE.

“YOU ARE PERFECT FOR ME, I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE OR THE CAR YOU DRIVE.” EVEN IF U DON’T CARE, DON’T TELL THEM THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO SAY.

WHAT I DARE YOU TO SAY FIERCE BAD ASS BITCH.

YOU SAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT.

YOU ARE INDADEQUATE.

AND I DON’T DATE POTENTIAL ANYMORE

THAT IS SO 85!

AND I AM WAAAAY TOO FABULOUS FOR YOU.

YOU’RE RIGHT!!!

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!

YOU SAY THAT.

AND I PROMISE YOU

LIKE I’M PROMISING MYSELF

YOU WILL DO SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY

THAT DAY.

IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

AND EVEN IF U EVENTUALLY GIVE IN

AND DECIDE, LIKE MOST WOMEN

TO SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT THEY ARE

OR WHAT THEY DESERVE.

AT LEAST YOU WILL HAVE THAT ONE DAY

WHEN U REALIZED

THAT YOU WERE BORN

WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO SURVIVE

ON THIS PLANET.

AND AS MUCH AS EVERYONE KNOWS HOW

MUCH I AM IN LOVE WITH LOVE.

THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE, THEN THE

ONE U HAVE WITH YOUR CREATOR AND

YOURSELF.

WHEN U TRULY DECIDE TO NOT ENTERTAIN

MEDIOCRE, INFERIOR BEINGS

WHO WILL ONLY SUCK EVERYTHING CREATIVE

OUT OF YOUR BODY.

YOU WILL GET RID OF THOSE FIBROIDS

FROM STRESS.

AND INSTEAD OF CRYING BECAUSE YOU ARE

SO POWERFUL AND MAGNIFICENT AND YOU

HAVEN’T FOUND A KING

WHO CAN HANDLE YOUR LIGHT

JUST YET..

YOU WILL WRITE YOUR FIRST SCREENPLAY

CHOREOGRAPH A WORK OF ART

COMPLETE YOUR STRONGEST PIECE OF PROSE

BECOME THE CEO OF YOUR OWN COMPANY

GET THAT TENURE U DESERVE

TEACH YOUR GIRLS HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES

INSPIRE SOMEONE TO BUY A BOOK

COMPOSE A SYMPHONY

WRITE A BEST SELLING NOVEL

APPLY FOR THAT GRANT

RAISE YOUR SONS ALONE

BUILD AN INSTITUTION

A SAFEHOUSE!!

FOR STRONG, INCREDIBLE WOMEN

WHO DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND TO NOT BE

WELL READ, ARTICULATE, BRILLIANT, TALENTED, SOULFUL,

AND FINE AS HELL.

WHEN WE KNOW WE ARE.

AND SO DO THEY.

YOU WILL BE TOO BUSY TAPING THIS SHIT YOU

YOUR FRIDGE

OR EMAILING IT TO HIS INBOX

AND SMILING AND EXPLODING WITH JOY!!

ALL MY LOVE,

JESSICA CARE MOORE

-Saying sorry works

-When that doesn’t work, cry

-NEGOTIATE, NEGOTIATE, NEGOTIATE

-Be weary of people who don’t smile at you

-What’s gonna work? Teamwork.

-You DO feel better after a nap